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It's a funny thing: the dynamic between men and women. With adulthood comes a whole new set of rules (and exceptions to them) in this game of love we are all clamoring to play. We realize that things are not nearly as black and white as we once believed them to be when our heads were filled with the image of the ideal romance painted by every one of our favorite childhood fairytales. With adulthood comes an understanding that though the basic framework of the game remains the same, the rules have changed entirely.
In today’s world, one’s lifestyle is often completely defined and dictated by their career path. Mine is no exception. I work as a professional entertainer and while I love what I do, it is not exactly conducive to building and maintaining committed relationships. Not in the conventional sense, anyway. People who work in the entertainment industry have long since come to peace with the fact that distance is an inevitable hardship they will have to endure if they ever hope to be a part of something lasting. In order to survive in this kind of dating environment, one must develop a certain casual approach in the earliest stages of courtship. Due to the fact that working performers are rarely in one place for longer than four to six months at a time, they must learn to appreciate any time they get to spend with someone they care for at face value. While passions often develop quickly and run deeply between these artistic types, they must understand that they can’t really trust their feelings until they have stood the test of time and distance. One thing that is very common of interpersonal relationships among performers, (theatre performers, especially) is that due to the nature of our jobs, we are constantly moving from one temporary community to another. We have grown very accustomed to developing deep emotional ties at an accelerated rate (due, in part to the exorbitant amount of time spent together in the rehearsal process) and having to say goodbye to our new found friends just as quickly. Romantic relationships within this realm reflect much of the same pattern. Often, these affairs fizzle as quickly as they were ignited.
Occasionally, one will find that they’ve stumbled upon a romance that is worth exploring beyond the end of the performance contract. Then comes the question of whether or not to remain exclusive in spite of the physical distance. No matter what decision a couple reaches about this matter, they will endure their own unique brand of heartache. If they choose to remain entirely committed, they will no doubt suffer great pains from the separation. They will, however, be able to take comfort in the knowledge that their significant other is not seeking the company of anybody else. Another approach is to leave the relationship undefined. To freely acknowledge their feelings for one another yet remain open to whatever (or whomever) may come along in the other’s absence. While this method awards each party certain freedoms, it can be a breeding ground for insecurity and distrust. It is important to remember that though it very closely resembles a relationship, it is missing a vital factor: commitment. It is crucial to keep things in perspective and guard one’s heart if they choose to move forward in this type of arrangement.
As grim as either of these two scenarios may seem, there are the rare occasions when time and distance do not serve as a means of tearing two such people apart but instead solidify their union. The funny thing about the heart is that is knows what it wants. No amount of separation can convince it otherwise when it has chosen to devote itself to another. There is a point at which we must choose to let go and trust that if it is meant to be, it will be no matter what odds are stacked against our promised happily ever after.
